This is going to be a pretty short post, but this topic is on my mind a lot at the moment and I wanted to get the message out to other pwBPD (people with BPD) who may be struggling with intense feelings of loneliness.
When my mental health started to take a nosedive I felt so crushingly alone. I had my partner and a couple of friends who tried to understand my condition, but BPD seems like something that is almost impossible to grasp if you haven’t been there (see: Sanesplaining).
I’d Google, read articles but everything I found were at best clinical descriptions and at worst warning signs to stay away from us. I understood a bit more about what BPD was, but that emptiness and loneliness persisted.
Then I found an AMA (ask me anything) on Reddit by someone who has BPD. I cannot overstate the immense value that this long since abandoned Reddit thread had to me. Everything just started to fit and made so much sense. My mind was completely blown as the author compared the mind of someone with BPD to a neurotypical mind; there were so many things about me that I never viewed as atypical. This hit feeling hit particularly hard when she discussed her lack of sense of self and emotional control.
I won’t elaborate too much, but if you’d like to read it you can find it here.
Since then I have visited the BPD subreddit almost daily and in the past few months have begun commenting and posting regularly. I’ve been able to recapture that same feeling of comradery that I felt when stumbling upon that AMA more often than I ever thought possible. The BPD subreddit is primarily full of kind, often messy individuals seeking support for issues relating to BPD or just to share their experiences. Loved ones make appearances and there are very few visits from the hostile “fuck BPD and everyone who has it can burn” crowd compared to other BPD subs.
I also thoroughly enjoy the BPDmemes subreddit; as memes are banned from the BPD sub (to allow people seeking support to be seen) this is a great place to indulge in some dark humour.
Of course, one of the most prominent communities available for pwBPD is a Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) group, but in lieu of having these services available or as an extra source of support Reddit is a great option.
Wherever you decide to go, my advice to those of you who are in your early days of diagnosis is find your tribe. Nothing beats that isolation like talking to or even just reading about people who understand our brand of crazy.